Work Related

I was nervous going into the meeting today- not sure how my news would be received. I left the meeting feeling as high as a kite.

In a nutshell (probably won't be a nutshell- it'll be a novel, I'll betcha), she said, "I'm sure you know why you're here- [director of training] and I want you to be a part of our team". I told her that I hated disappointing her, but I wouldn't be moving to her team and outlined my reasons.

I further told her that this was an extremely difficult decision for me, and that I'd spent many hours going over it in my head. I also told her that training is something I love and it's going to be very difficult for me to give it up.

We talked for a while, and she showed me where I would have been on the org chart. I had no idea it was such a senior level position, which of course would have meant more money. But you know what? I wouldn't have liked it. It was managing people who do what I wanted to do; and we all know that it's my goal to never manage people again.

Kids, I dodged a bullet.

In the end, she told me that the thought I'd put into this and the reasons I'd given made her 'love' me even more and she told me that if I *EVER* change my mind or get buyers remorse or laid off- she will *MAKE* a job for me. She said that this was going to break [director of training]'s heart, so I told her that I'd tell him myself. I do adore the guy and would love to work with him again.

We'd never met in person before but really *understood* each other. She seemed a kindred spirit. I know that's weird, right? But she must have felt the same thing because she asked me if she could hug me at the end of the interview.

Well, of course! I love getting my hugs!

I'm SO glad that I ran into that guy on the bus this morning because I know he was placed there for a reason. If I wasn't so sure of this, I probably would have waffled and taken the job- for all the wrong reasons.

I know I did the right thing for me. She told me that I could be an 'honorary' corporate trainer and that she was going to put me on her org chart in white font. That made me laugh and I told her I'd be honored.

So, there we are kids. The hard part is over.

The best part (as if all of this wasn't good enough), is that she said it'll be a long time before they'll be able to take my stuff on- so I'll get to continue doing the things I love. Who knows, maybe I'll never have to give it up.

I feel blessed today, as I do most days, and that's a wonderful thing.

Gheesh, why do I have to be so clever with the titles? Now I'm craving waffles.

Buttery, maple syrupy crisp waffles. Drool.........................

This afternoon I'm meeting with the person who would have been my new manager had I chosen to move over to the training side of the fence. It's apparent that she's making assumptions that she shouldn't be making:

Purpose of meeting: I'd really like to spend a little time together before the larger meeting on 8/20 with the rest of the Corporate Groups. I'd like to hear about the training priorities in your area and what other things you're interested in being a part of within the Corporate Groups.

After very careful and thoughtful consideration, and conversations with Top Dog, I'd made the decision to stay where I'm at. It was really a tough decision for me because there are things about my current job that scare me to death. OK, just one thing- but that's enough.

I was ruminating (good word, huh?) on the train today about my decision and what exactly I was going to tell the new training director. It was that point that I started to waffle.

Did I really make the right decision?
Was my decision based on being right for the department, or based on being right for me?
Was Top Dog sincere in what he told me?
Etc. Etc. Etc.

By the end of the train ride, I was really concerned about whether I'd made the right decision. I'm usually someone that, once I make a decision, I don't waffle. Why was I waffling? Did this mean that I'd made the wrong decision?

I got off the train, and on to the bus that takes me the rest of the way. Whaddya know. The person who applied, but wasn't hired for the training director job was on that bus, sitting right across the aisle from the seat I'd chosen. I've *never* seen him on that bus and didn't even notice he was there until I heard, "Hi Lori".

He asked me, "So, have you made your decision?" I told him that yes, I'd made my decision and had a meeting with the new training director today and was going to break the bad news in the meeting with her.

I then said that it was a really difficult decison for me to make because I love training so much. After a bit of back and forth he said, "I think you've made the right choice."

We continued to talk through the bus ride and then the 3 block walk to the building. He explained that if it were anyone else, he'd suggest going into training- but he thinks that I'd be really torn if I moved over to training because I'd be required to put other departments ahead of my current department in priorities. He said, "you'd be constantly between a rock and a hard place".

He's right. If that happened, I *would* be really torn and I'd be writing post after post about how guilty I felt about the decision I'd made. I really REALLY like my team and would feel horrible letting them down.

I never told him that I was waffling on the train, but I can tell you this; I'm not waffling any more. I don't believe in coincidence. I believe that he was meant to be on that bus in that seat today.

Now, if I could just get the idea of waffles out of my head, I'd be great.

I hope not.

The power went out yesterday for a couple of hours. This is not a good thing when you telecommute, as you can imagine; especially when your husband (who will remain nameless) forgets to put the battery in the generator. Sure, I could probably figure out how to do that but I have a habit of doing awful things to myself like electrocution, almost losing limbs with power tools and things like that. I just wasn't in the mood to test that out.

Anyhoo- one thing I didn't think about with the power outage was my alarm radio. I rolled over this morning to look at the clock wondering how much time I had left and EEEEK! Seems that the volume was reset to zero, so I woke up with quite a start. It was 20 minutes after the time I'm supposed to get up. That got my adrenaline going in overdrive.

I knew that there was NO way I'd be able to make up that 20 minutes and make it to the train station on time. I have everything timed to perfection when I"m getting ready in the morning- no dilly dallying built into the schedule. Up at 4:40, take a shower, wash my hair, wash my face and brush my teeth. I'm out the door at 5:20 in perfectly coiffed hair and makeup to perfection (only to be smudged and smeared by the end of the day, of course). Most of that time is spent on my hair, by the way. Really it's a miracle I look presentable with the amount of time I give myself.

ANYHOO.... my face felt funny so, before my shower I looked in the mirror. To my dismay, I have a nice grouping of cold sores taking over my face. Not on my mouth, mind you. On my chin. It's just down-right ugly and right now the little colony is slightly smaller than a quarter.

LOVELY!

I'd considered calling my boss to tell her that I was going to work from home out of vanity, but decided that I already had an extra day at home last week due to the spider bite so I didn't want to push it.

I cowboy'd up and drove in to work this morning, herpes face and all. Traffic was better than I'd ever seen it and I was sitting in my office chair at 6:15. Wow. I really made record time (so there was a plus this morning.)

Last time I had herpes face, my boss told me that it was distracting. Hmmmmph. So, I paid extra attention to my hair and makeup and wore a form fitting thin sweater in hopes that all of that would detract from my face. I'll let you know how that goes.

Meh and Feh.

Yeah, the day started out kinda rough (except for the guy who obviously smoked a bit of the maryjane... that was kinda funny), but the rest of the day was great. Crazy as it sounds, I miss my co-workers when I'm not in the office regularly. They make my day really fun.

I've mentioned a time or two that most (dare I say 85%?) of the people in my group are guys. I like that; and it's not what you might think. Working with guys just means less drama. Interestingly enough, the girls in my department are unlike women I've worked with in the past. The women I work with are phenomenal. We do our jobs, get stuff done and go home at the end of the day. Plus? We have fun.

Girls in my department RULE!

About the guys though..... I love it that I can tell them to mind their own business and they shrug their shoulders and say, "OK". I'd say that at LEAST once an hour, I have one of the guys hanging over my cube wall talking about this or that (and I *SWEAR* it's business related), and another one will walk by and start hanging too. Since I don't want to look like the party cube- I tell guest number two to take a number and I'll get back to them. No hurt feelings, and (I'm sorry- fellow women-folk) that would NOT fly with women. In my past jobs, there would be a lot of huffing and puffing and hurt feelings.

Ick and bleh.

I was sad to see that my favorite co-worker wasn't in the office today. I dunno, but he always makes the day fun for me. I got an email from him this evening that he was taking care of his wife after surgery. I said that it was kinda funny because I was taking care of BJ's hang nail- so we were both being nurses. He said that I win on the grossness scale.

Go me!

Yup, it was a good day afterall~even thought the commute was 2 hours each way. At least I had great music to listen to. Ready? Barry White and Johnny Cash. Does it get anymore random than that?

I wrote to my 'new' daughter, Jessica today that life is short- you should love what you do for a living. By gosh, I think I've found that.

I'm a lucky girl.

I'd scheduled a meeting this morning with Top Dog to go over an organizational announcement I was drafting for him. I knew it wouldn't take the full half hour, so intended to talk to him about the decisions I had on the table with the remaining time. I'm being 100% honest when I say that prior to meeting with him I still hadn't made up my mind.

Once we'd wrapped up the organization topic, I told him that since there was time I wanted to talk to him about something else. He said, "Let me guess- Training?".

I knew that he'd been briefed, but I had no idea of how many people had talked to him. Word gets around, I guess.

He said that he's heard from five different sources that I had a decision to make and he was wondering when I'd get around to talking to him about it. It's strange that he'd even expect me to talk to him about this. He's my boss's boss's boss- in other words, he's kinda high on the food chain.

The conversation went very well, and confirmed that my stock is good with Top Dog.

I told him that the possibility of losing training made the decision very difficult for me because developing training is something I could do in my sleep and I knew that I was good at it. I told him that I feel that I'm not a master of any of the responsibilities left on my plate and it made me worry that I wasn't a good value add for the department. I was sincere in telling him that I didn't want his manager to come to him one day and say, "Why are you keeping Lori here?".

He said, "I can hire people who know how to do every job in this department. That doesn't mean that those people will care about the job that they do. I know having someone like you who is smart and passionate is much more of a value add than someone who just knows how to do their job."

He further said that he doesn't expect me to be an expert at everything. He likes me because I'm always willing to try and he knows that I want to do a good job. He said that he knows that if I don't know how to do something, I'll figure it out.

He told me that I'm one of those employees that he'd fight to keep, and that made me feel really good. I know he wasn't blowing smoke, because he isn't like that. He's someone that says it like it is.

In the end, I told him that this discussion was exactly what I needed. I said that knowing that he knows I'm not perfect and still appreciates the things that I do means a lot to me. I also told him that I truly enjoy my job; that the topic is fascinating to me and I'm learning so much. I also said that the people I work with make it fun to come to work, especially my favorite co-worker. Having him say that he knew I wasn't perfect and that didn't matter to him took a big load off my shoulders.

I don't think I've ever been told that. I think I've always just assumed that I was expected to be perfect. That's just dumb, now that I think about it. Nobody is perfect. Thankfully, I think he understands me well enough to know that just because he doesn't expect perfection doesn't mean that I'm not going to try.

I couldn't have felt more solid with my decision. I felt like a ton of bricks fell off my shoulders and I haven't wavered from that decision since.

Now the yucky part..... telling my long-time buddy that I've decided to stay put. Ick.