Mush

I have much to blog about in regard the trip we were on last weekend (accommodations, blunders, etc.) but I first wanted to write about my brother. Because he was the purpose of the trip, after all.

My brother and I are just over 18 months apart, and in case you're wondering we've both agreed that he's the oldest even though our birth certificates might suggest otherwise. As with most siblings that close in age, we've had our share of causing each other bumps and bruises, physically and emotionally. The teen years had me completely convinced and hopeful that eventually we'd part ways and never have to speak to each other again. I'm sure glad I was wrong about that.

At some point our relationship started moving back to the way it was when we were very little. The word 'adore' comes to mind.



I do adore my brother and I often wish I could place a HUGE protective bubble around him so no physical or emotional harm ever comes to him. I also wish that he was readily accessible to me whenever I feel like having a yack fest over coffee with him. Last weekend reminded me of how much I really enjoy his company, how fun talking to him can be, and how much I love him. Somehow it's just not the same over the phone.

BJ, his mom and I flew out to see my brother play a lead role in a musical. He auditioned for the play on a dare from his drama teacher who said that she'd give extra credit for anyone that auditioned. Not being one to pass up an opportunity, he auditioned and what do you know.. he got the male lead role.

When he walked out on stage, I was absolutely mesmerized by him and moved to tears several times when he sang. I was just.that.proud. I realize that I'm his sister, but he had such a presence on the stage. My tears were tears of pure joy because I saw his passion and I was reminded of how truly talented he is. I am so glad that he's considering following this passion because he hasn't been in a play since before he joined the army twenty-some years ago and I think he might have forgotten how wonderful this creative outlet is for him. I'm so glad he's like me and can't turn down extra credit.

After the play, he came to our hotel room and shared a impromptu meal of wine and cheese as we talked about the play and the philosophy of life. We covered quite a few topics that night, and there could be no doubt at the end of the night about how we feel about each other. It was wonderful that we both felt comfortable enough to be ourselves and share several emotionally intimate moments in front of BJ and his mom. I'm so glad they are so accepting of us (emotions and all), because the gift they gave us was an evening I will treasure for a long time.

When my brother told us how much it meant to have us in the audience supporting him, it felt good. It feels good to know that our being there made a difference to him and that he felt supported by us. It's all about that protective bubble in the end. Although I can't really place a protective bubble around him, there isn't a thing I wouldn't do for my brother and the best part about it is, he KNOWS it.

I had planned a really special weekend for President's day weekend, just because. All he knew was that we were going away for the weekend. I didn't tell him a thing about where we were going or what we'd be doing. Sadly, I had to cancel this weekend because of life circumstances.

When we were dating, we were both on the road a lot (plus lived over an hour away from each other), so lots of our communication was via email. Neither of us are much for talking on the phone. Especially me. Note to my friends (except sis): I hate talking on the phone!

This is a snippet of an email I got from him in January 2003 (and nobody'd better make fun of the fact that he likes Shakespheare, or I'll hunt you down and kick your butt!). I had written that my favorite time of year to go to the Northwest beaches was winter. I love the huge waves, foggy gray horizon, contrasted by sitting in a warm room next to a fireplace.

He wrote back:

Wow. A really lovely mental picture of the ocean during the stormy season (thank you for that). I would absolutely love to end up with you at a seaside or mountain retreat for some weekend with plenty of wine, a fireplace, a stormy night, and a few really good books. I think it would be wonderful to read something to each other. I have always enjoyed Shakespeare in this environment. The Hamlet soliloquy, Saint Crispin’s Day speech in Henry V, maybe even the repartee between Dromio and Ephesus in A Comedy Of Errors. The verbal tennis game in Waiting For Gudeou (sp) is fun too. It is based on Shakespeare, so it counts. Sound like fun?

So, here's what I planned:

1. We were going to stop at Borders books first, and he and I would each pick out a book. (I was going to find his Shakespeare books in advance and bring with.)


2. Then off to the wine store and pick out several good wines.


3. When we got in the room, I was going to hand him the email, printed on nice paper and tied with a bow.

I scheduled a suite here, right on the ocean:


See how loved he is?

And now you know... I'm not all just fun and games. I have a squishy side too.

I have a little toy on my desk at work that makes me smile. It's a little toy that BJ got for me out of a gum ball machine.

(This is the actual size. It's a smilie wearing a football helmut, holding a football. It's hard to get a good picture from my phone due to the florescent lights in my office, but you get the idea..)


I think one of the reason's I really like this little guy is because there are a lot of people who know BJ that would never believe he'd do something like this. At work, he's kind of a stuff shirt (sorry honey, but you are!) He'd also never be described as goofy. I mean really, people might expect something like this out of me. But him? Uh uh.

He said that he was at the grocery store and saw this toy in a gum ball machine out of the corner of his eye. He teases me about my affinity for placing smiley faces in my email to him, and he has a long history of playing football. So, he thought I'd like it.

I dunno, it's kind of like when your little boy gives you a dandelion. It's not something fancy or expensive, but the thought behind it is just.so.sweet.

I hope I never lose that little guy. For that matter, I hope I never lose the big guy either.

I was over visiting The Sneeze last night and read his latest entry. It was about kissing.

I knew I'd have to blog about it because I found myself all mushy-like and getting dizzy and stuff. You see, I'm the lucky person who married the best kisser on this earth. If there are kissers on other planets, I'll bet he'd win the title there too. Really, I know what I'm talking about here folks. I've been a kissing afficionado all of my life. Ok, well, since third grade anyway. That's when I got my first kiss from a boy.

His name was Reuben. I really don't remember much about him except that he was my third grade boyfriend, we held hands and walked around the track at recess. Oh, and kissed. Nothing too extreme (that's for any pervs out there thinking otherwise). I was in third grade, for Pete's sake.

Fast forward to high school. That's when I really got to try out lots of kissing techniques. I feel kind of bad for the boys that I practiced on because I was very much a goody-two-shoes. I could kiss for hours, but kissing was all they got. Now that I'm older and wiser, I've heard stories of what that does to a guy. Oops.

My roomates and I used to like to kiss the guys who lived across from us in student housing at BYU. Looking back, I really don't understand what that was all about. They were almost like brothers to us, but we were all broke and had nothing better to do. Well, I suppose we could have read scriptures or something..... Nah, this was way more fun even though we all were truly just kissing. OK, maybe it was just me that was having fun.

My first husband was a HORRIBLE kisser. What was I thinking? Let's just say his saliva glands were working just fine. Ten years of that. Gag. I need to clear my head now. Yuck... I was just re-reading this to make sure I spelled everything right and had all of my t's crossed. Still seriously gagging. Heavily.

The boyfriend between the first husband and hubby didn't like kissing. Eight years of that. Can you imagine? Me? The kissing afficionado being with someone who doesn't like kissing? Shudder.

....cue in harp music and angelic sounding voices....

BJ... sigh. I remember our first kiss like it was yesterday. I get all mushy every time I think about it (and I think about it a lot!). We'd been on several dates before it happened. During those dates, I'd lust after those lips of his. I could tell that they would make for heavenly kissing. I was soooooo right. We were watching a movie, something we'd both find romantic. Stargate- (the movie!) Have I mentioned that we're both a couple of geeks?

The movie was done and we both just looked at each other, and then those lips of his turned into a couple of pillowy magnets. It was everything I'd imagined. After that kiss we both looked at each other and at the same time said, "wow". Really, we did. And it was. It was totally WOW.

It's still wow. I've been kissing those wonderful lips of his for two years and two months now and still can't get over how lucky I am that *I*, RisibleGirl, married the best kisser in the world.

...lucky me.

(have I mentioned how lucky I am?)

....sigh

Sorry kids, no humor this morning. Again. Today's post is dedicated to the letter M.

M for mush.

BJ has been on a business trip since Sunday morning and comes home tonight. I am anxiously awaiting the moment that I get to see his smiley face standing at the curb at the airport. I wrote to a friend of mine about that moment (hi Cindy!) Until I wrote to her, it never occurred to me what was so significant about that moment.

It has nothing to do with seeing someone that I've missed, although that is also really nice. It's all about what happens the moment he sees me. I think this is one of my favorite things. Seeing him before he notices that I'm in the room (or at the airport).

I see his normal persona and he's just a man standing in a room. Then I am fortunate enough witness how he changes when he sees me. His whole face lights up and his posture softens. The tough man suddenly becomes a teddy bear. I am so lucky that I get to see that as it happens. Makes me want to sneak up on him all the time, but then again that might be creepy. tee hee.

Gah! I'm just a big pile of goo sometimes.