Mush

I love you honey, and can't believe my good fortune in meeting you. Even more, I can't imagine this journey without you next to me.

BJ is home, having a nap upstairs in our bed. He said that the bed felt like heaven, and I'm sure it did. I expect him to sleep for a good long time, so thought I'd catch everyone up. I'm adding lots of hyperlinks for his mom so she can read more about some of this stuff. She's out of the country and wanted to be here, but we told her that BJ is fine and we'd keep her updated.

::waves to BJ's mom::

The official diagnosis is atrial fibrillation. He's probably had this problem for quite a while, but it's progressively become worse. The first time he was aware of it was about three years ago, but his doctor didn't see anything on the stress test. It's my understanding that this is something he'll have for the rest of his life but it can be controlled with medication.

The cardiologist at the hospital ran lots and lots of tests on him to make sure that this episode didn't cause permanent damage. We were thankful to hear that his heart is fine except for the AF.

He's now taking more medication than I am. I never thought I'd see that happen because he's a pretty darned healthy guy.

He's taking four prescription meds and one baby aspirin every day for presumably the rest of his life. I'm not going to give the names of the drugs, just because the poor guy should have SOME privacy (heh)... but here's what each one does:

• Drug 1 lowers his blood pressure


• Drug 2 decreases the electrical impulses to the AV node


• Drug 3 controls heart rhythm disorders


• Drug 4 is a blood thinner.

He'll need to get a blood test every day until drug 4 gets his INR levels where they want them to be. After that, he'll be tested regularly (don't know how regular yet) to ensure that his levels remain OK.

He's also been told that he needs to give up a few of his vices (smoking, coffee, alcohol), which he said is a small price to pay. I agree. Thankfully, the only vice we had in common was coffee- so I won't be doing stuff that will be tempting to him.

He has an appointment with his regular doctor on Tuesday and we'll be looking for a cardiologist that is affiliated with the hospital he was in, since this is a permanent heart condition. The ER doc had a recommendation and we'll look to see if he's covered by our health insurance. BJ *LOVES* that hospital and I do too. I went there for one of my surgeries and it was also a really good experience. I might just have to follow his suit and go to that ER (rather than ER from hell) if there's a next time for me.

He's been told that if he has these symptoms again, CALL 911. Do not even think about it- just go. AF puts him at risk for a stroke or heart failure, mainly due to blood pooling in the top chamber of his heart. This causes the blood to coagulate and possibly clot; going either to his lungs or brain.

Eventually, he might need to have a pacemaker or other device to regulate his heart if the meds don't control this.

I told him today that I'm glad that it didn't take something like this to show me how much I loved him. I already knew how much I love him- and so did he. There is no doubt in his mind that I love him as much as anyone can love another person. He is so precious to me and I'm thankful that he got such good medical care. I'll be forever grateful that we have medical insurance enabling us to get the best treatment possible for him. I'm thankful that I have such supportive managers that have told me very sincerely to 'let work go' and concentrate on my family. I'm also SO thankful that we have such supportive friends (including YOU) and family that have been praying and sending healing thoughts his way. I am a firm believer that this went hand in hand with the doctors in helping my sweet husband recover.

He's probably going to need surgery in the next few days- one to remove his wife from his body. I just can't stop hugging and kissing him. Well I guess that's nothing new. Just call me velcro wife.

Thank you again from both of us for all of the comforting comments and email. We're both so grateful for all of the support we've received. I wish I could hug you all.

OK, first things first. I'm alive and well.

Second things second, the wedding was absolutely lovely and perfect. Everyone (especially Jessica) looked beautiful.

Third things third, family and friends- I know you're chomping at the bit for details and pictures. I hope to have that done by tomorrow night. I'm busy editing over 1000 photos, over twenty videos, and trying to put a hardbound book of the wedding together for the newlyweds. I also want to put together a really cool video of bits and pieces of the wedding pictures and videos; all of which before they come back from their honeymoon.

Lastly, I just want to say that I'm so darned proud of the job Jessica did. That girl knows how to organize. Casey did very well.

I'll leave you with the toast that Cameron gave, because he couldn't have said it any better. I asked him to give me his notes so I could put it in their wedding book:

I would like to start by thanking everyone who helped with the wedding.

What an amazing day....

For me, it's a little strange. I'm gaining a sister and nephew, but I feel like I'm losing my brother. It's such a mix of emotions. Happiness, joy.... (big pause) relief. In all seriousness, I know I'm not losing Casey but it is wild to think of my brother as a married man and a father.

Oh how things have changed. It seems like only yesterday we were convinced that there was no one person in this world that we despised more than each other. We probably drove our parents crazy. But now Casey is my best friend and I would do anything for him. Who could have imagined.

Jessica, I can't think of any one who is more perfect for Casey than you. For starters, he eats real food now. Not just hot dogs and pizza. You bring balance to Casey's life. You seem to always be prepared for everything from dinner to camping. All the details are handled but you are never stressed out.

I've never seen Casey happier. As his brother, I can see that he was meant for this role as husband to Jessica and father to Riley.

So, the three of you we toast.

Congratulations and the best of wishes in your lives together.

Welcome to our crazy family Jessica and Riley. If I may be so bold, it looks like you two fit right in


I can't imagine our lives without the two of you, and I'm positive that Casey's life is enriched because of this union of families.

Congratulations Jessica, Casey and Riley!

Tomorrow is your birthday as well as Dad's birthday. Too bad you held out for the 7th, because it would have been awfully cool to say you were born on 6-6-66. A day late, and a dollar short, eh?

Even worse, having to share a birthday with your dad? Wow. Well, I guess we can call you the gift that keeps on giving, right?

JP, I don't talk about you much on my blog, but it's not due to a lack of love. Like my other siblings, you are very special to me and I celebrate the day you came into this world.

I don't remember much about when you were born, because I was only six. I think my memories with you start about the time you were three or four. One memory I'd like to erase is the one where I broke your little leg playing *cannon ball shooter with you. You used to love it, but I don't remember you asking me to do it anymore after that.

*For the uninformed, cannon ball shooter was me laying on my back, propping my brother on my feet and shooting him into the air. Kids, don't try this at home.

It's so easy to make you laugh, and that's fun for me. I love to tease you just so I can hear you laugh and say, "oh Lori...". One of the things I treasure about you is your laugh. There's a guy in my department at work that has a laugh just like yours and it makes me smile and think about you every time he laughs. Lucky for me, he laughs a lot.

You've been through an awful lot in your life, yet you don't complain. I could learn a lot from you, little brother. The very tip-top place in heaven? You'll be there, and there is no doubt in my mind about that, nor anyone else's mind who knows you.

I love the rare times when you and I get to talk alone. I love it when you share things with me in confidence and I'm honored that you trust me with those things. I love it that you're willing to try new things. Remember when we had the "eat weird things" day? I do. I still have the picture of me with a mini octopus hanging out of my mouth. I'm glad someone else appreciates the weird things in this world. Too bad you live so far away, we could do that on a regular basis because there are lots of weird things to eat. Did I ever tell you that I ate donkey in Italy? I thought about you when I ate it because I knew it would make you laugh.

I have a memory that I think about from time to time. It was right after your brain surgery, which caused you to have complete amnesia. I remember the first time I saw you after the surgery and the way you looked at me. It was if you were looking through me. I was used to seeing a sparkle in your eye when I'd walk in the room and that sparkle was missing that day because you didn't know who I was. I can't even begin to describe what that felt like. It felt really empty. I can't even imagine what that was like for you.

I can't believe that my 'little' brother is 42 years old. That's just craziness.

Happy birthday Joel. I love you.

Caution: Those with problems regulating their sugar might want to skip this post, otherwise you might go into a diabetic coma from the sweetness.

The rest of you will probably gag.

BJ and I were on our separate computers in different rooms this morning, checking email. He's not on his computer NEARLY the amount of time that I am, so I took the opportunity to send him a little love note. I signed it with x's and o's.

He replied, "right back atcha".

I said out loud, "Hey, where are the x's and o's?"

He came running into the room and said, "I thought I'd give those to you in person".

...and he did.

Gah- sweetness overload.