The bearded eye-roller

I was a bad girl this past week. I cheated on the no sugar challenge. I know- y'all are going to say that I was under a lot of stress and I should just let it go. To that I'll say, OK.

See? Now we don't need to have that conversation.

Thankfully, I didn't plunge off the deep end and go crazy. I had a total of four graham crackers and a small bag (one serving size) of yogurt covered pretzels out of the hospital vending machine. Big hairy deal, right? Right!

I've finally caught up on my blogs and now I'm going to plow through email. I have lots of email that I haven't responded to ::waves to my mom and dad- you're first!::

I worked really hard on Thursday and Friday to try to get caught back up at work. Considering the fact that I work hard every day, that was an unaccomplishable (yes, I know that's not a word- but I don't care) task. I've now decided that I'm going to work really hard to not drive myself crazy in trying to catch everything up.

The Hubs is out having his daily visit with the vampires. His doctor called yesterday and said that they need to increase the Coumadin because his INR levels are nowhere near therapeutic. Until he's at the right levels, he's at increased risk for a stroke or other medical issues that renegade blood clots can cause.

It's so amazing to me that just one short week ago we were completely unaware of the dangerous things going on inside his body and how acutely aware we are of those things today. Kinda makes one stop and think, doesn't it?

I changed my mind about plowing through my email just yet. Suddenly a nap sounds like a brilliant idea.

The Hubs and I are favoring different candidates for the presidential election. I'm not going to say who is for McCain and who is for Obama because I don't want to start some sort of ruckus here on my blog. We'll just say that unless one of us changes our mind, we'll be canceling each other out and nobody needs to worry about our household being the one vote that toppled the whole thing over. (Yes, I know- one vote will not make a difference...)

Apparently the man has been doing some reading during the night because I came downstairs to find PROPAGANDA about my candidate.

Does he think that he's going to change my mind? If so, then I think some of these new drugs in his system have made him coo coo for cocoa puffs.

We have VERY different spiritual views and have managed to be respectful about it. This is the first time that we've not agreed on something political so it's going to be an interesting time for us. Maybe I oughta take his political propaganda and trade him for some spiritual propaganda (which, by the way, is WAY more important than politics in my opinion.)

For those that want daily updates on HRH, he's doing great. He's been able to sleep through the night since coming home from the hospital. He hasn't been able to sleep through the night in MONTHS. He's beside himself with happiness (me too!) He's getting bored, which is no big surprise. He's a whole lot like me. Did I tell you that he was actually working in ICU? We both need our heads examined, but our employers sure like us.

The Hubs is home, having a nap upstairs in our bed. He said that the bed felt like heaven, and I'm sure it did. I expect him to sleep for a good long time, so thought I'd catch everyone up. I'm adding lots of hyperlinks for his mom so she can read more about some of this stuff. She's out of the country and wanted to be here, but we told her that The Hubs is fine and we'd keep her updated.

::waves to The Hubs's mom::

The official diagnosis is atrial fibrillation. He's probably had this problem for quite a while, but it's progressively become worse. The first time he was aware of it was about three years ago, but his doctor didn't see anything on the stress test. It's my understanding that this is something he'll have for the rest of his life but it can be controlled with medication.

The cardiologist at the hospital ran lots and lots of tests on him to make sure that this episode didn't cause permanent damage. We were thankful to hear that his heart is fine except for the AF.

He's now taking more medication than I am. I never thought I'd see that happen because he's a pretty darned healthy guy.

He's taking four prescription meds and one baby aspirin every day for presumably the rest of his life. I'm not going to give the names of the drugs, just because the poor guy should have SOME privacy (heh)... but here's what each one does:

• Drug 1 lowers his blood pressure


• Drug 2 decreases the electrical impulses to the AV node


• Drug 3 controls heart rhythm disorders


• Drug 4 is a blood thinner.

He'll need to get a blood test every day until drug 4 gets his INR levels where they want them to be. After that, he'll be tested regularly (don't know how regular yet) to ensure that his levels remain OK.

He's also been told that he needs to give up a few of his vices (smoking, coffee, alcohol), which he said is a small price to pay. I agree. Thankfully, the only vice we had in common was coffee- so I won't be doing stuff that will be tempting to him.

He has an appointment with his regular doctor on Tuesday and we'll be looking for a cardiologist that is affiliated with the hospital he was in, since this is a permanent heart condition. The ER doc had a recommendation and we'll look to see if he's covered by our health insurance. The Hubs *LOVES* that hospital and I do too. I went there for one of my surgeries and it was also a really good experience. I might just have to follow his suit and go to that ER (rather than ER from hell) if there's a next time for me.

He's been told that if he has these symptoms again, CALL 911. Do not even think about it- just go. AF puts him at risk for a stroke or heart failure, mainly due to blood pooling in the top chamber of his heart. This causes the blood to coagulate and possibly clot; going either to his lungs or brain.

Eventually, he might need to have a pacemaker or other device to regulate his heart if the meds don't control this.

I told him today that I'm glad that it didn't take something like this to show me how much I loved him. I already knew how much I love him- and so did he. There is no doubt in his mind that I love him as much as anyone can love another person. He is so precious to me and I'm thankful that he got such good medical care. I'll be forever grateful that we have medical insurance enabling us to get the best treatment possible for him. I'm thankful that I have such supportive managers that have told me very sincerely to 'let work go' and concentrate on my family. I'm also SO thankful that we have such supportive friends (including YOU) and family that have been praying and sending healing thoughts his way. I am a firm believer that this went hand in hand with the doctors in helping my sweet husband recover.

He's probably going to need surgery in the next few days- one to remove his wife from his body. I just can't stop hugging and kissing him. Well I guess that's nothing new. Just call me velcro wife.

Thank you again from both of us for all of the comforting comments and email. We're both so grateful for all of the support we've received. I wish I could hug you all.

The cardiologist decided that they wanted to keep The Hubs one more day, so he didn't get to come home today as planned. It's almost a sure thing that he'll be leaving the hospital tomorrow. At least that's how it looked when I left.

I was feeling pretty gross and, I'll admit it, worn out by the end of the day today. I think the adrenaline is leaving my body and now I'm starting to feel the punishment of the uncomfortable chairs and my sleeping position the last two nights. We won't even go into the worry and stress we've been under since Sunday morning. Today was the first day that I really knew for sure that The Hubs was going to be OK. He's himself today and that makes me tremendously happy.

We had to learn how to give him shots today until the drugs he's prescribed are at their ultimate level. It sounds like he's going to be taking almost as many drugs as me. From what I can count, he's going to be on four different drugs- presumably for life.

I knew we'd grow old together- I just didn't think it would be this soon.

The Hubs insisted that I go home and sleep tonight, maybe less out of feeling sorry for me and more that he wanted to sleep without worrying about me wandering the halls naked or something. You never know what I'm going to do on my nightly cocktail of drugs.

So, I'm home. I immediately hit the shower and boy did THAT feel good. Now I'm kind of sitting back and revisiting the past few days. WHAT.A.RIDE. this has been.

My kids taught me something today. They taught me that they're here to support us, just as much as we're here to support them. I have this habit of waiting until there's good news before I give the bad news to people. Of course, if I knew there would never be good news, then I'd share the bad. Jess (my daughter-in-law) told me that I need to call them whenever anything happens, no matter how small and she's speaking for all of them (my sons and the wonderful women they're with). She's right. I'd certainly want to support any one of them if something happened, no matter how small. What happened to The Hubs is not small and I didn't share that information directly.

I truly need to learn to allow other people in with the bad as well as the good. Thank you Jess you are 100% right, and I'm going to try to break my bad habits.

I came home to see flowers on our doorstep to The Hubs "from your family". I know exactly who that is. Son#1, Sweet Girl, Son#2, Jessica and Riley? I have a feeling that when The Hubs sees that card with the words, "your family"- he's going to get teary-eyed. "We" have the best kids (all of them) anybody could ever imagine.

In fact? We have the best LIFE I could ever imagine. This could have been so much worse, but he's going to be OK and that's all that matters.

I've shared all of your words of support with The Hubs and y'all have literally brought tears to that sweet man's eyes. Thank you so much for your support. I think now he's beginning to understand why I feel so close to my little community.

From what I can tell, The Hubs's heart is finally regulated**. It seemed that way when I woke up this morning. He's no longer having problems with beathlessness and his heart rate is not swinging from 70's to 160. I'm done playing doctor because they've placed him on a portable that transmits somewhere other than his room. I can't watch the pulse, BP or oxygen levels anymore. Meh. I was really getting fixated, so it's probably a good thing.

I've slept sitting up in a chair for the past two nights and believe it or not, my back is NOT killing me. That's not to say that I'm not looking forward to my own bed. I'm just glad that they let me stay with him all night. There's no way they'd get me to leave his side, maybe that was apparent.

The first "sleepover" comes with a funny story. One that I find so endearing and sure tells me that no matter what- that man I married is always looking out for me.

So, y'all know the drugs I'm on at night- right? Well, I took them before knowing we'd be going to the ER. I probably would have opted not to take them otherwise. Here's this man, hooked up to wires, scared out of his wits and he's STILL looking out for me. Apparently I was very active, trying to walk off many times during the night. I guess he convinced me to get in bed with him so he could hold on to me to keep me from wandering off. Every time I'd try to get out off the gurney, he'd hold tighter and talk me out of it.

Is that the sweetest thing you've ever heard? That man I married is selfless. If it were me, I'd let him wander off (kidding).

He's doing a physical stress test right now- walking on an inclined treadmill while they measure his heart and BP. They also shot some radioactive stuff in him, I'm assuming to do an ultrasound of some kind.

I *think* this is the last of the tests. That's what they told us yesterday anyway.

I'll try and answer everyone personally once The Hubs is asleep- but just wanted to know that The Hubs appreciates every single one of your comments. Of course, I do too. Thanks from the bottom of my heart.

** Oops I lied. Apparently he's still in "A-fib" but his heart rate is no longer going between 70 and 160.