The bearded eye-roller

We've always thought of our home equity line of credit (HELOC) as something we could fall back on "if", so we've been paying it down like mad since we bought the house. Started off at 45,000.00 balance and now we're down to 10,000 plus change since we bought the place in Feb 2006. Not too shabby.

We found out yesterday that we're going to have to pay excise tax on something that we thought was taken care of last year. I think it's going to be somewhere between 10 and 20 thousand. Maybe more. I told BJ that, considering our circumstances, maybe we should use the HELOC to pay this tax, since the interest rate is so low and the payments would be low.

We called the company that owns the HELOC and they said that our available credit is ZERO. ZIP. NADA. They said that they've frozen most HELOCs due to the economy and the declining home value.

I decided that I needed more depressing news, so I went to zillow.com to see what our house value is. Here's the graph:


NICE! We've lost about 100k in value! Thankfully, we're not upside-down between the value and what we owe.

On the thankful front, between my bonus (of which I found out today is based on the top performance rating- go me!), my vacation pay out and my severance pay, I'll be getting just 300.00 shy of a year's salary on my birthday (the end of this month).

Even more thankful, I have a sweet little boy who doesn't mind his mama kissing and holding him all the time. Maybe I should have called him George. <- that there is a Daffy Duck cartoon reference.

He even puts up with me trying to change his sleeping schedule.



And most thankful that BJ and I have now spent 8 days together in the house 24/7 (except for errands) and we haven't tried to stab each other with a fork.

Yup, I still have a very thankful and hopeful attitude.

Einstein still hasn't quite acquired a taste for sleeping in the pen at night, but every night there is less and less crying. Poor baby, I feel so bad because he sounds so sad but I know that this will pass, especially if I don't give in. We are trying to keep the alone time to a minimum, so BJ goes to bed about 8:30 and up at 5am and I go to bed at midnight and up about 8. So, he's only alone for 5 hours at a stretch. I keep the TV on to the weather channel because it has music and some talking- plus a little light.

He's mastered fetch and sit. His treat of choice is cheese. What a coinkidink- so is mine! No worries- I'm not giving him much.

The thing that I find the most funny is that he asks to be on the couch, which is OK. We'll teach him to ask, not just assume. He loves to lay between the two of us and if he gets tired of being petted or annoyed that we're talking, he'll want down and will go get into his crate. He's all about boundaries and lets me know if I'm giving him a bit too much loving.

He's doing SO great with the potty training, which pleases me to no end. It doesn't mean he gets free reign of the house though and he's never out of my or BJ's sight. One day I'll trust him but he's only 7 weeks old.

Last night I started feeling guilty about having a puppy. I know without a doubt that BJ didn't really want a puppy; he got it because it's been a rough year and he knew how happy it would make me. I told him that I never want him to think that my happiness is more important than his. I can't believe the things I get feeling guilty about, ya know? He said that me feeling bad takes all the fun out of it for him and defeats the whole purpose. He's right. As usual.

Here's more puppy cuteness:

We interrupt this "Einstein wears me out" sleep to bring you updates.

Me: The swelling in my face is gone as far as I can tell and I have such little bruising now that I feel comfortable going out in public- which is highly necessary because now my hair looks like white trash. The pain in my face comes and goes, but is manageable for the most part. In the past week, I've taken 3 pain pills at the most. This not chewing business is the pits. I hate to even post this because I'm going to get a 'what for', but I can't really dig up any sort of desire to eat the stuff I can eat anymore. The blending, the lack of variety- it's all so tedious. Of course, that's making me really 'fainty' all day long, even after I've walked around for a while, and that's not something I need right now. I guess I've pinpointed for sure where the fainting comes in- it's either due to not having enough calories or perhaps it's some sort of hypoglycemic issue. Just something to talk to my doctor about when she's back from maternity leave.

I'm not job hunting/gig searching in earnest yet. I go in spurts. Maybe it's the safety of still be employed through January 29th. (very stupid reason but the best I can come up with right now. If I were to be truthful with myself, I’d have to admit that I’m burned out.)

Einstein: One accident in two days. WOWEE! Today is his 7 week birthday and he's doing very well on the training. I've caved in to my own personal need for sleep and bought a really big cage (with a top) that his little crate, a wee wee pad, and a play area fit in. I wait until his last potty and burst of energy of the night and put him in there at about midnight, 1am. Yup, he hollers his little head off, but stops and sleeps for a couple hours before starting all over with the poor pitiful me routine. BJ is wearing earplugs and I'm sleeping right through it. (go drugs!). He's not traumatized by the cage, because he'll go in it to get a drink of water and sometimes piddle during the day (on the wee wee pad in the cage), so I'm comfortable in him getting used to it without fear that I'm scarring him for life. Crate training is going great too. He'll lay in there to sleep and will even go in there to play and stay with the door open.

He's mastered fetch and is today learning "sit". He's sort of getting it, but usually just parks his little butt for only a spit second. I'll have to teach him to sit and wait for it. He really is a great little puppy except for when he gets overstimulated. Then he goes to crazy town. I'm starting to put him in time out (less than two minutes) in his crate when he does that because he really goes CRAZY. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde crazy. That always works.

I'm planning to clean the floors today and thought I'd pull out my Roomba. That ought to make for some fun video, eh?

BJ: No job yet, but it's not for lack of networking and applying for jobs. He is very well known in his industry and has had a lot of people call him telling him just what they thought of the rotten deal he got. Apparently word gets around. He has lots of eyes out looking for a job for him. He's decided that the Cadillac was a bad idea, so we're trying to sell it on Craigs List. If we do, we do. If we don't, we don't. Maybe I'm on too many mood-leveling drugs because I'm feeling awfully nonchalant about this. Or is it my faith that everything always works out. Whichever it is, shouldn't I be feeling a little freaked out?

While writing this post, I made some grits (eating them now)- took Einstein outside for walkees and am now running the Roomba. I think he'll need to be a little older before he'll think it's fun. Right now, he's glued to my side and want's nothing to do with it.

BJ lost his job today. As you can imagine, it's a little very scary in this household considering the economy. Hmmmm, two people in a two person household without a job. You do the math.

The Pollyanna in me says, well I guess it's a blessing that I got laid off because at least I got a severance package that we can share. Also? Thank goodness we found out in time for me to sign up for COBRA (is it supposed to be capitalized? Oh well, who cares.) Can you imagine the two of us without health insurance?

Does anyone think it's a coincidence that we got the puppy the weekend BEFORE BJ lost his job? I don't. You wouldn't believe how much BJ loves that puppy! This is someone that INSISTED that we'd never get a dog.

I think I'm going to need to be offline for a while and really ramp up my business plan. I dunno, it's a much scarier idea since we only have COBRA. I'm not even sure how long I'm eligible. I know that no insurance company in their right mind would sign us up. They're not in the business to lose money. I might have to reconsider starting my own business. I think I'll be making LOTS of inquiries this week.

I really thought that 2008 was going to be the last of the icky stuff. I was wrong. I'm hoping this is simply a step off a bad situation for BJ into something that he really loves. He hasn't had a passion for his job for at least three or four years now (no, that's not what lead to this by the way).

I wish I could say that I know that we're going to be OK- but I'll admit that I'm scared.

By the way, we've officially named the puppy "Einstein". I've been saying how smart he is (and he really IS smart), so the name fits like a glove. Like my friend Miss Ann commented, we just had to wait until he told us his name.

Oh, and the person with the voodoo doll? Throw that damned thing away.

I probably shouldn't joke about things like that, actually.

Lessee..... the last time we talked, I was whining about not being able to get pain medication. My regular doctor is on maternity leave, the face doctor was not working that day, and I was this >|< close to taking myself to the ER. Fortunately, the face doctor on call took pity on me and called in 30 little pills of heaven. Well, not quite- it was only vicoden, but it was better than a kick in the pants.

Since that time, the image in the mirror is starting to look like someone I know (me!); the bruising is fading; and the pain has become tolerable. I only need meds when I first wake up and then again around five or six PM. I saw the face doctor today and she said that things are healing up nicely, and then (I hope you're sitting down for this) she asked, "Do you need more pain medication?" I told her that her partner had prescribed vicoden and I wasn't out yet. Here's where you really need to be sitting down. She said, "well, how about I write you a prescription now, instead of waiting until you're out. Would you prefer vicoden or percoset?" And she wrote it for 40 of them.

Yeah! I know, right?

But that's not the story behind the title of this post. You're not going to believe what I'm about to write.

BJ has been adamant from the time it looked like our relationship was serious until now that there would be no furkids in this family. Nada. Zilch.

That still didn't keep me from poking at him every second of the day once in a while about wanting a dog.

I don't recall what exactly I was doing at the time that preceded the following email exchange, but here's how it went:

BJ: It looks like I'll be going to a conference in LA leaving 1/26 and returning late 1/29. The bigwig conference is on again in March. Leaving Sunday March 1 and returning late Wednesday March 4.

Me: OK. I want a Puggle. (It’s a cross between a pug dad and a beagle mom)

BJ: I'm willing to consider this.

Yes, we're really that concise when we email each other.

Holy smokes, you guys.... if I hadn't made it a new year's resolution to not faint in 09, I would have fainted right then and there. This was just like when he proposed to me. He was adamant from the beginning that he was never going to get married again, so when he proposed I was POSITIVE that he was teasing me. I didn't believe that proposal was a real one for at least two days. Since I'm sitting here looking at my wedding ring, I think we can rest assured that he doesn't tease about 'big ticket' items.

Getting a dog would be considered a big ticket item in this household.

The first thing I did was to tell Heidi about it (and that's exactly what I did after BJ proposed). Heidi is always the first to hear my big ticket news. The next thing on my list was to see if there were any Puggle breeders around here. Lucky me, there's one only 14 miles from my home. According to her site, she had 3 boys and 3 girls and they're ready to go to their new home on January 11th. Kismet? Why yes, I do believe it is.

Then I waited until BJ got home, ready for him to tell me that he was only considering it but it wouldn't be anytime soon. I was totally prepared for that, but guess what? He wanted to see more pictures of Puggles and read about their disposition. Now, if that wasn't enough to bowl me over- he suggested that we get TWO.

I talked him down from that one. I told him that we could always get another dog later, but training two new puppies at the same time sounds like disaster to me.

We have an appointment with the breeder tomorrow at 10 a.m. She said that she'd be willing to let one go a day early because they've really progressed well. We're not sure if we want a boy or a girl, so we're just going to play that one by ear.

I've been watching potty training and crate training videos all evening. There couldn't be a more perfect time for us to get a puppy since I'm not going into the office these days (nothing to do and a goofy looking face= stay out of the office).

I sure hope I can get to sleep tonight. I'm pretty darned excited, and believe it or not- so is BJ.

That man sure does like to surprise me, but really, who could resist a puppy that looks like these little fellas? I probably wasn't playing fair when I showed him the ultimate of cuteness.