The bearded eye-roller

Thanks to Huey Lewis, I have a song firmly implanted in my damaged brain.

PS- I've been using that excuse ALL weekend to get out of stuff. "I'm sorry honey, but I have a damaged brain and can't do that". I can see all SORTS of possibilities now...

(As you can see, the pity party is long over....)

Anyhoo, ready for the ear worm?
I want a new drug.

I want a new drug
One that wont make me sick
One that wont make me crash my car
Or make me feel three feet thick

I want a new drug
One that wont hurt my head
One that wont make my mouth too dry
Or make my eyes too red

Only I've changed the words in my head to "I've got a new drug". This Provigil? Holy cow! Love.It.

My Neurologist gave me samples to try out before prescribing because it's rather expensive. I called and left her a message that probably sounds like a junkie calling their dealer. I literally said, "That Provigil is good stuff, sign me up".

Thankfully, in all my research, I've found nothing to say that it's addictive; but I can see how I could become addicted to feeling like my old self. It's nice to feel clear headed for a change.

The only downside is that I think it makes me nauseated. I'm not sure if it's the provigil or a liver flare up. Sometimes I feel like an old horse that should be sent to the glue factory- if it's not one thing, it's another. The upside (Pollyanna, yay!) is that because of the liver condition I have a never-ending supply of anti-nausea meds.

The bearded eye-roller also told me that 'that drug you're taking' makes me a little obnoxious.

This, my friends, is the first clue that I'm feeling good. When I'm feeling good, I'm hilarious. Just don't ask BER, because he'll tell you that I'm down-right annoying.

That poor man doesn't understand good humor, right? RIGHT?

Yesterday we went to the mall to pick up a few things for his trip to visit his mother. I can't go because of- you guessed it- too much work.

I was feeling light-headed off and on during the day. No particular reason that I'm aware of- it just happens to me now and then as y'all know.

We were in a store and the room started closing in, I started hearing that "bionic man" noise, and I knew that if I didn't sit down fast, I'd faint. I'm just glad that I have warning signals.

**As God is my witness, I shall never faint again**

I told the bearded eye-roller that I needed to go sit down because I was going to faint. He took one look at my white face and told me to sit on the floor in the middle of the store. NO WAY DUDE! Geez, that might cause a scene. I just started walking out of the store toward a bench. He had merchandise in his hands (CROCs for his mother- tee hee) and started following me to make sure I would be OK. I told him to go back in the store and let me go. Then I gave him THAT look. You know, the one that says- don't mess with me and do NOT leave the store with unpaid merchandise in your hands.

He actually raised his voice at me! Can you believe it? We almost caused a scene in the mall. Dang- where was my flip camera when I needed it.

Unfortunately, I don't think anyone would have noticed because that mall is in a part of town where that sort of thing goes on all the time.

I did feel bad though, for scaring him enough to actually RAISE HIS VOICE at me. I can count the number of times he's done that on one hand. Usually it's because I didn't do his laundry right.

I kid... I kid....

In honor of the near miss, I finally bought a mouth guard. Next? A helmet.

I'm sitting here in the family room TRYING desperately to catch up on blogs, and I hear what I can only describe as screeching going on in the sound system in the living room.

The bearded eye-roller walked into the family room and said, "What was *I* thinking?" I thought I'd like Nine Inch Nails." Apparently he purchased a NIN concert DVD.



Me: Do you think it's a mid life crisis?
BER: No, maybe I've become Goth
Me: No honey, now it's called Emo
BER: Yeah, OK-that's right. Goth is so like five minutes ago

(really, can you even believe that we're having this conversation? No? Me neither)

BER: Every time I hear the word Emo, I think of Tickle Me Elmo. I just can't take this Emo stuff seriously.
Me: I think that's OK honey. You don't need to worry about being Emo or Goth. You're a little long in the tooth for that sort of thing. Now go turn that crap off and put on some Lawrence Welk.

I just called Heidi about a FABULOUS idea I have for my next You Tube "production". I can NOT quit laughing about this, but fear it might land me a role in "One Flew Over the cuckoo's nest".

But hey, I look great in white jackets, right?

I'm not going to give you the blow-by-blow, but I'll tell you this. We're going to have a Donny and Lori Christmas special, using the CD my mom just sent me (and a few other props). The ideas I have in my head right now are HI-larious! (if I do say so myself)

Here's what the commercial might say...

Join Donny and Lori in an evening of singing Christmas carols and tree decorating. Be sure to have your tissue ready for the finale as they sing a very special duet in front of the tree.

A very special* Christmas production, indeed. Of course, this shall all happen after the bearded eye-roller leaves town to visit his mom on Monday. I'm afraid that if he watched all this in action he'd haul me off to the loony bin. He just doesn't quite 'get' my humor sometimes.

I.CAN'T.WAIT!

...oh I hope I don't chicken out of this.

*and by special, I mean the short bus 'special'. tee hee.

Normally we have a party every year to celebrate Apple Cup but we had a couple things against us this year. The bearded eye-roller's lamp went out on the projector, which is very sad because folks like the 100 foot screen- AND lots of folks were out of town for the Thanksgiving weekend. So, today it's just me, BER, the boys (my sons) and one of their friends. There may be more coming, because everyone knows that this is the place to come and folks know that it's OK to drop in on this day, so I had to make enough food for an army.

Of course.

I even dressed up in BER's school colors- down to the tattoo on the face. I remember last year that it was a real chore taking this tattoo off, but I thought I'd at least pretend that I care about football. Go team.


Now, witness how I annoy BER once again. I'm so bad.


And tomorrow? I'll rest. I promise. Not like I promised BER about the kissing. I REALLY promise. Tee hee.

PS- have I told you how much I *LOVE* my flip? I've become a You Tube nightmare!