The bearded eye-roller

I do my laundry on Sunday with no variation except possibly starting a load the night before. Last weekend, I started a load at about 10:30 PM on Saturday and decided to put it in the dryer on Sunday. That came back to bite me on Sunday morning.

I went to the laundry room to put in Sunday's first load and heard water running from somewhere. After a bit of investigation, BJ determined that the 'splitter' (don't know what it's really called, but it turns one spigot into two) cracked and water had probably been running since the night before. Oops. That's what I get for getting a head start on my laundry.

BJ had planned for a relaxing day, and it was off to a bad start.

We moved the washer and found a nice little swimmin' pool back there. After throwing a few towels down to soak up the water, BJ headed for the hardware store to replace the cracked splitter. All-in-all it was time consuming, but a fairly easy fix. BJ returned to his relaxation and treated himself to a nice big cup of hot chocolate and a movie on the big screen in the living room.

About five minutes into his relaxation, I hear "[swear word after swear word]". He'd somehow knocked that nice BIG cup of hot chocolate all over our off-white carpet. Normally, I'd be on all fours cleaning the mess but I was having a bit of a time myself with a work project and was already having a bad day. Eventually BJ figured out that there was no cleaning that chocolaty mess without a carpet cleaner, so off he went again to the store to pick up a carpet cleaner.

The carpet cleaner did the trick, and I wished I had time to do all the carpets while we had it, but I was still knee-deep into a super frustrating project and could see no end in sight. BJ returned the carpet cleaner after only using it for about 10 minutes.

One more try at relaxing for BJ. This time he put a lid on his hot chocolate after making a new batch. It's a good thing, because he knocked it over again. This time it was MY fault. I'd gone beyond my frustration threshold and went into BJ's 'cone of relaxation' to get a cuddle. That's when he knocked over his hot chocolate again. He'd removed his headphones so he could listen to me, and set them right next to the hot chocolate, knocking it over again. He was thankful for the lid, because it kept the spillage to a minimum and was able to clean it up fairly easily.

On to Monday. Yay! It's house-cleaner day! Nice clean wood floors (OK, they're always clean, but I have a false sense of 'even more clean' when it's house-cleaner day.) Not long after BJ got home from work, I poured myself a 32 ounce glass of sugar-free cherry kool-aid. Guess what? I knocked it over. The whole 32 ounces of red koolaid all over my clean floor. It covered a four-foot radius, splashing up and under the furniture in the splash zone. It was a MESS.

Normally I have fresca at night, which is colorless, so I was glad that I'd switched it up so I could at least see where all the koolaid went. 32 ounces goes a long way, especially when the plastic glass bounces.

So yeah. We need sippy cups. And maybe better eye-hand coordination.

OK, NOW I can write about the weekend. We were invited to a 'tribe' weekend at a lodge just outside of Leavenworth for a tribe member's surprise birthday. The 'tribe' consists of friends that BJ has had for over 20 years. I got lucky when I married BJ because he has a wonderful group of friends. Bonus! They're all starting their families, so I got to play with babies and little girls all weekend. Squee!

Here's where we stayed. We (the tribe, consisting of five families and one single guy) had the entire lodge to ourselves. We stayed in "Brook".



I didn't take a lick of work with me (another bonus!), and actually relaxed for a change. Well, to be honest "relaxed" is a relative term for me. I think the only time I truly relax is when I'm under anesthesia. Even when I'm sleeping, I'm working on something.

The first night, we played lots of DVD trivia games. We split into two teams, and I'll have you know that people WANTED me on their team. Especially when it came to things like celebrity news. I'm on top of that, yessiree. Sports? Not so much, but the guys had that stuff covered.

We had a GREAT kitchen, so we cooked all our meals except breakfast on Sunday morning. Cleaning up was so quick with lots of women and THREE sinks!

Saturday, the most of the guys (including BJ) and their wives went out snow-mobiling (sp?). My physical therapist threatened me with terrible things to keep me from partaking in that particular activity. I know that she knows how to hurt me, so I stayed in the lodge with the kiddos. I finally finished a book I'd been nursing for about two months. I don't know why I kept reading it once it got to cannibalism and other gruesome things, but the end was worth it. No, I'm not going to tell you the name of the book. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone.

Saturday night, more DVD trivia and then Texas Hold'em poker. Five dollars was the buy-in, which was a good thing because BJ and I lost our shorts (not really... nobody wants to see that.) All of the adults played, so there was a big pot (55 dollars!) I don't know who won, because BJ and I are old and went to bed at about 11pm.

Sunday was a real treat. We went to a buffet breakfast. Normally I'm not a big fan of buffets, but this was a high-priced buffet and was DE-lishious. Oh my gosh, the Belgium waffles were to die for. There was hardly anything to them; really light and crispy. Every pork product (high end) you could think of, and even salmon. After breakfast, we went for a sleigh ride. There wasn't a lot of snow, so it was noisy and bumpy (and cold, boy was it cold!) The kids loved it though and it was fun to watch them enjoy themselves.

BJ and I left a couple of hours after that. Frankly, our charm reservoir was getting empty and we needed a little bit of quiet. We didn't even turn on the radio the whole 2.5 hour trip.

Unfortunately, Einstein was sick when we picked him up from doggy daycare, so I had to immediately take him to the vet. He had some plant debris embedded in his ear (not from doggy day care), and it was infected. Poor little puppy was miserable. He's still afraid to bark two days later because it hurt so much. He's on pain pills and antibiotics now, so he should be feeling better soon.

To make the weekend even better, I've finally resolved something that has plagued me for too long. Resolved probably isn't the right word. Maybe resigned is a better word. Resigned myself that I've done everything I can in a situation I won't be sharing here and I can freely walk away with a clear conscious. I once learned in counseling that sometimes resolution needs to be done all on your own without the cooperation of the other party. I'm glad that the counselor shared that with me, though I never thought I'd be using that advice in my relationship with this person.

I'm looking at this situation as part of my evolution. I believe we come here as imperfect stones. Each rough situation we're in polishes us a little bit more until hopefully we come out of this with very few rough edges. Unless we accept the situation for what it is, learn from it and move on we'll leave this life with many imperfections. I don't think I'll ever be perfect, but I've had quite a few opportunities to be polished and I'm honestly thankful for those opportunities. I'm proud of the person I am and would not be me without the rough stuff along with the good stuff.

Who knew all this could happen in three days? What an awesome life I live, and I'm grateful every day for that.

You'll understand the title in a minute.

Ranger Mike came to stay with us for the Thanksgiving Holidays. I give him a lot of crap for being Cliff Claven, but I actually like having the guy around. I must- because this is a banner year for being with my brother. We all (kids, us, Michael) went to see the family in Arizona in June; Michael and I took our brother on a road trip in September; and now this. Can I even hope for Christmas too? We'll see. I love you, bro.

While I'm on the Thanksgiving roll...

• I'm thankful for so many things- family being number one. It always has been and always will be. This includes the 'kids' I've adopted along the way, and family members who choose to be apart.


• I'm thankful that BJ and I found each other, even if it did take a 'few' years. He's a wonderful partner to me and I can't think of a single person that doesn't agree. I've put him through the mill with all the head bonks and wonky bits, but at least he's no longer afraid of hospitals. heh heh


• I'm thankful for all of my friends, cyber and up close and personal. I don't know what I did to deserve the lot of you, but I'm glad I did it.


• I'm thankful for my puppy, Einstein. He makes me laugh every.single.day.


• I'm thankful for my beautiful home.


• I'm thankful for being able to make an income at something I love to do.


• I'm even thankful for all the bad stuff that has happened, because I really like the person I've become. I don't think I'd be me if it wasn't for all my life experiences.

With that said, here's where you'll understand the title of my post. I originally saved this to send to my mom and dad, but I think if you replace some of the words, it could apply to anyone whose life hasn't or isn't currently turning out the way they had planned.

WELCOME TO HOLLAND
by
Emily Perl Kingsley.
c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

I remember vividly my husband of six years (today!) telling me eight years ago that his relationships have a five year shelf life (are you keeping up?) I'm glad he was wrong, and I knew he was wrong back then but chose not to argue with him. I just told him that I was willing to take the gamble.

I'm glad I did.

I'm not sure he signed up for what has gone on over the past three years, but he's been a real trouper about it. He used to be deathly afraid of hospitals, and now they're no big deal. I remember the first experience I had with him in a hospital was when his dad had an aneurysm. He had to stay seated because he kept feeling like he was going to pass out. Now he cleans up the blood and gore after head injuries and holds my hand in the ER.

He doesn't question my 'uniqueness' (nice word for it, eh?) and celebrates my successes. I've honestly never been with someone who accepts all of me like he does and it's really nice. I've always held back portions of myself in relationships for whatever reason, but now I'm free to be me. Even my awesome song and dance routines are met with applause and standing ovations. OK- I made that part up. He just (begrudgingly) puts up with it because he has no choice. I break into song and dance for no particular reason because it entertains me (and Einstein!)

I think we've been through more rocky roads in the last three years than most couples see in their lifetime, yet those experiences didn't seem so bad because we weathered it together. In the last three years, we've lost three jobs (two at the exact same time); BJ was in the ICU for a week; I've been in the ER for multiple head traumas and I've had two surgeries (with another one in a week). That's just in three years.

Every once in a while, when we're watching TV together- both of us with our glasses on and BJ with a blanket (because he's cold and I'm hot!) I get glimpses of what we'll be like when we (hopefully) grow old. It always makes me smile because I have no doubt that we're together for the long run. I feel safe with him.

Maybe we are already old- don't burst my little rainbow and unicorns world.

I knew it was going to be good, but I didn't know it was going to be THIS good. Thank you honey for the most awesome years of my life so far and the joy in knowing that there are more awesome years (even if things around us are rocky) ahead.

• I subscribe to a site called dealloco.com on my feedreader. Amazing deals to be had, and I do most of my Christmas shopping through this site.
  
  Anyway, one of the deals today was a fire escape ladder that hooks to a window. It reminded me of when I was a kid and was FREAKED OUT about "what if there's a fire?" I've always been rather literal, even as a kid. I'd hear stories in Sunday School about the Holy Ghost prompting you when something bad might happen (at least, that's how I interpreted it...) so, if I ever worried about something, I was POSITIVE that it was the Holy Ghost prompting me about [insert worry of the day here]. Worry wart. Some things never change.
  
  One of those worries was a fire. I don't remember how old I was, but it was in the house before our house in Yorba Linda (thebirthplaceofRichardMNixon) <- Factoid: I can never say the words "Yorba Linda" without following it up with "The birthplace of Richard M. Nixon".
  
  I remember my dad sitting at the edge of my bed several nights talking to me about this and then installing one of those fire ladders outside my window. Thanks, Dad, for making me feel safe.


• I've come to the conclusion, "once a mother, always a mother". You worry about your kids when they're little and you worry about your kids when they're grown. It seems to me that the problems when the kids become adults are just as worrisome- only they typically have a bigger impact. I think I'd rather have the little kid worries to worry about.


• Einstein has had a little bug the last couple of days. I started to obsess about it, so finally we took him to the vet. The conclusion was stomach flu of some sort (I'll leave this to your imagination)and allergies (swollen eyeball). I'm so used to his daily activities and schedule that little warning bells go off when he's not himself. He had a nausea shot at the vet, and he was so still last night that I kept looking over at him to make sure he was still breathing, because usually he's a bit of a monkey at night. Reminds me of when the boys were babies and they slept too long.


• We hired our landscapers to remove Old Man Winter from the gardens. We were out yesterday and came home to find six people working in the garden beds. I was giddy with excitement at seeing all this dead stuff (plants, not bodies) being hauled away out of the yard. It took them one day to accomplish what would take me WEEKS to do. I am so excited that all I have to do from now on is plant cool new plants and leave the rest to the gardeners. Squee!


• I've been immersing myself in the series, "Six Feet Under" for the past few weekends. I've seen it before and loved it. BJ hates it (of course) and says that it sounds like a big Soap Opera. He said, "Soon you'll be telling me that you're watching 'your stories'". It's kind of amazing to me how well we get along and enjoy each other's company, but our taste in movies and TV shows are so far apart, with the exception of a few. I refuse to question the reason.


• I'm going to see the cardiologist tomorrow to see about getting a monitor surgically implanted. I'm 100% for the idea because I want this fainting stuff figured out. Too many broken bones and injuries and it has to stop. I'm seeing the foot surgeon on Tuesday because my foot isn't healing AT.ALL. I'm starting to feel depression seeping in because I can't go out and do anything without my foot hurting- sometimes even more than my face. I've gained 15 lbs due to my foot (well, and coconut M&Ms), because the foot surgeon told me to get off of it as soon as it starts to hurt. That's usually about 10 minutes. Bleh. Yup, I'm feeling depressed. I guess that's not so hard to understand, given the hand I've been dealt the past couple of years, right? Thankfully, I can still see the good. Most of the time, anyway.