Waxing poetic today, me thinks.

My grandmother has passed away. I knew it was going to happen sooner, rather than later based on what I saw when I went down for her 97th birthday in February. I knew then that it would be the last time I'd see her.

It's been an amazing five years. I could go down the "I feel cheated" road, but as I stand back and look at things, I know for certain that everything happened exactly as it should have. I'd never trade one life (the one I would have had if I'd grown up knowing my biological father) for the other (the one I had growing up with my dad.) I'm sad I missed out on all of the years knowing my grandmother, but I choose not to focus on that.

Instead, I choose to focus on the miracle that she was still alive and well at 92 years of age, allowing me to get to know her and love her as my grandmother.

I'm still meeting people from my father's family as recently as a month or so ago, and my relationship with my half-sister is growing. We don't talk often, but when we do we never run out of things to talk about. I guess that's what happens when you have 40 some-odd years to catch up on.

I've saved every letter my grandmother has written to me and there is no doubt in my mind that she left this world knowing that I loved her and was grateful that we found each other. I know she loved me too, because she never missed an opportunity to tell me that. How awesome is that?

My belief system tells me that she's together with her husband, my father and my aunt (who died a couple of years ago) and that they're having a wonderful visit. I don't judge those who don't have a belief system in an afterlife, but I'd be kicking and screaming on my death bed if I thought that's all there was. I could be wrong, but I sure hope not.

I fly in to California next week to stay with someone I've never met in person, but I sure like her! She was married to my father's brother long ago and is the mother of a cousin that I plan to get to know a whole lot better. I had to laugh as we were making plans for her to pick me up from the airport. She wrote, "don't get in the car with strangers!" We've never seen each other in real life, met each other via FB just a couple of months ago, and all I know is that she'll be driving a black Altima.

....I like to live on the edge.

I'm still processing all of this and can't really put my finger on how I'm feeling. I'm sure after the funeral I'll be more in touch with my feelings. Right now I feel removed from my emotions. Not necessarily a good thing, but something I've perfected over the years.

Rest in peace, sweet Munner. My life is better for having known you.

I have several things to post about, but I don't feel like doing a This and That so let's talk about family time!

I'm UP TO HERE with family. Ha ha ha- I'm kidding! We've been fortunate to be able to spend loads of time with family in June and beginning of July. The first part of June, we (the boys, Sweet Girl, Ranger Mike, BJ and I) went to Arizona to visit my parents and brother. We all stayed in a nearby hotel, so as not to overwhelm my parents with our irreverence. We saved all that stuff for the evening in Casey and Ranger Mike's room. We were WILD with the Skip-Bo playing, I tell ya.

Here's most of the family. Unfortunately, not everyone could make the trip and they were missed.



Ranger Mike and I stayed a few more days than the rest of the travelers so we'd have more one-on-one time with our parents and brother. We took our brother to a petrified forest of some sort. It was really fun for me, being on crutches and all...



Next up on the family togetherness train was a weekend on the peninsula with the boys, Sweet Girl, Einstein, BJ, BJ's mom and me. We pretty much did the same thing there that we did after hours in Arizona. Played games, ate, yacked and (some) drank. If you are a FB buddy, you would have seen the expose. :: snicker ::

Did I take pictures? Uhhh... no. Except one of Casey being sad because I beat him at Monopoly. I've been horrible about taking pictures lately. Well, unless you want to see a lot of Einstein.

Last was the 3rd of July celebration at the horse track. My company (you know, the one that has one employee.. me) sponsored a room and a race. Lookee!!





Squee, right?

Casey was really impressed that the family got to go down and watch the Lemonade Stand race from the winners circle. He said that he was sure that everyone at the track wondered if we were rich. Silly boy...



We had a mish-mash of super fun people there. I haven't laughed like that in a while and y'all know how much I love to laugh.

I'm pretty sure this post is really disjointed. My brain is going in a million directions right now, but I really wanted to get this posted for the family before it was completely erased from my memory. So, there we are.

....because I could hear your entire conversation.

Every year, we book a room for the 3rd of July fireworks event at the local horse track. It's a great time because:
A: You're in an air conditioned window room watching horse races in July
B: It's horse races! Fun!
C: After dark is a fabulous fireworks show
D: Most people don't have to work on July 4th, so nobody really cares that they're out late

This year July 3rd falls on a Saturday. Even better! Even better for my friends, my company is paying for everyone. (you know, the one that I own- - tee hee)

So I called a couple of weeks ago to book the event. I was told that I had to wait until June 15th. OK, fine. I called at 9am (when they open) on June 15th and was told that I'd have to wait until today (June 19th).

I called today and the gal said that they're all booked up. I said, "how can that be? You just started taking reservations this morning 1/2 hour ago." Her reply was that the phones have been very busy.

I wasn't going to stop there. I said, "are you SURE you're booked up for "x" room?"

Dummy: "You mean the restaurant?"
Me: No, it's the big room on the 4th floor all the way over to the left. They do a buffet
Dummy: "That's the restaurant, we do a buffet on special days" How big is your group?
Me: 30, and I've never had a problem booking this in the past.
Dummy: OK, let me check with my supervisor.

The dummy didn't put the phone on hold so I heard the entire conversation. Things like, "What do we tell people who were told that they couldn't book until today?" "Tell them that our computers are down and we'll call them back later" More dumb questions and more dumb answers that I heard. der...

So she came back on and said that someone would call me back. I said "I also wanted a race named after my company".

Light bulb goes on in dummy's head: OH- THAT room! You need to talk to group sales. They're not here today. I'll have them call you.

So, tick tock. It's not fun trying to plan an event less than two weeks away not knowing if I'll get the room. I can't really invite people to something I don't have booked, yet I don't want to book a bunch of 'seats' and have them paid for and empty.

Nothing I can do about it but remain calm. Hopefully by mentioning that I wanted to pay for advertising will get me somewhere.

I often have dreams that I'm floating, rather than walking. In these dreams, if I want to go higher (such as if something is in my way like a house) I have to concentrate and breathe more deeply. It's not flying though, I'm floating.

When I have this dream, it's a pleasurable experience, but I try to hide it from everyone because I know it's not normal. The problem is, that as much as I try, I can't hide it and the best I can do is to do a floaty-bouncy walk, kind of like the astronauts on the moon.

I had another one of those dreams last night. I was floating away after someone told me that I was "magnificent" (ha! healthy self-esteem, anyone?)

I'd been sitting in a field of wheat reading a book, when a woman came up to me and told me she saw me from afar and asked me if I was from this planet. I told her that I was (and in the dream it seemed like a normal conversation...) and she said that she'd never seen anyone from this planet so magnificent.

Should I really be admitting this dream in public? ha ha!

I had to leave for some reason and then the floaty thing happened. I was glad that I was in a big wheat field because it made it less obvious that I was floating.

I decided to look up "floating" on some dream interpretation sites and it varies. All I know is that I feel REALLY good and light when I'm floating in these dreams, and I have these dreams a few times a month. That's good enough for me.

This interpretation is fairly universal:

To see yourself floating and enjoying this action in a dream generally bears a positive significance and relates to a general balance achieved in one's life. To calmly float in water or through air is a metaphor for acceptance, for wellbeing and peace of mind, for letting go of past problems and conflicts and the release of negative emotions and feelings buried deep down inside you, which have prevented you from achieving a general equilibrium in your life.

But it's not.

I haven't been on the elliptical since my foot injury which happened before I was diagnosed with P.O.T.S. I'd forgotten that I'd assumed that the heart monitor function was broken because the rate would go from 70 to 180 to 40 to 210 to... well you get the idea. Sometimes it's even zero! I'm dead!

Still not sure, but armed with the knowledge that my heart beat is irregular, I asked BJ last night if the heart rate function worked for him. Ummm, yes it does. It goes from lower to higher in regular increments as the workout becomes more strenuous, and then back down again at a regular pace.

Well, well well.... that's what I get for assuming. What a dufus. Next thing you know, I'll be on the next episode of "I didn't know I was pregnant". I really need to investigate things a little more, eh?

I think I might just mention this when I have the follow-up appointment with my cardiologist next Monday. Maybe he'll give me a life-long pass from exercise!